Separate Like Stars Page 9

  “I never imagined I’d get caught up at this part,” I answer and shake my head slightly. Undeterred, Olivia lowers her head again and begins working along my jaw and down my neck.

  “Just use the thumb and first finger on one hand,” she instructs me between kisses.

  “How do you know that?” I question with a bit too much unspoken accusation in my tone. Olivia lifts her head and tilts it to one side as she looks down at me, amusement playing in her eyes.

  “Kurt told me it always works. I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve never done this before,” she explains as I finally manage to unclasp her bra.

  “You talked to your brother about this?”

  “Yeah. He gave me some general tips after that night at the party,” she explains with a shrug as she sits up. “I’m willing to bet you talked to your mom,” she states as she holds her bra in place.

  “Only to tell her that we hadn’t yet but I was ready,” I reply as I trail my fingertips up her arms to draw the straps down. I hook my fingers around the smooth fabric and slowly drag the straps along her shoulders and down her arms, allowing just the faintest contact between my fingertips and her heated flesh. My eyes fixate on her exposed breasts as I toss her bra aside and wonder how I never realized before Olivia how much I admire the female form. “Beautiful,” I whisper as my hands slide up her stomach to cup her breasts. I watch Olivia as her eyes flutter shut, her lips part, and she arches herself into my hands, the visual confirmation that she is enjoying my ministrations both reassuring and stimulating. I continue teasing her as she regains enough control to slowly slide her hands up my torso and begins paying attention to my breasts. She swallows my gasp with a fiery kiss as I arch myself into her caressing hands, pressing myself more firmly against her thigh.

  “It really isn’t fair that you’re still wearing this,” she breathes in my ear as she presses herself against my thigh again. I gasp as she teases my nipples and presses herself against my core, the ripples jolting through my body forcing the breath from me. As if possessed by some unknown force, my hands slip down to her hips, and I flip her onto her back, switching our positions. I moan as I grind myself against her thigh before lowering myself to seal my lips against hers. Her velvety tongue meets mine as her hands slip around my back and unclasp my bra. My hands return to her breasts as I separate our lips and she slowly slides the straps of the garment down my outstretched arms. I lower my head to replace my right hand with my lips as I relinquish the garment to her. I’m vaguely aware that I haven’t afforded her the opportunity to see me, but this thing possessing my being is demanding more of her. It pushes me to feed its need, this desire that I’ve never experienced on this level before. I slowly circle my tongue around her erect bud before sucking it into my mouth. She arches her back towards me as she grips my head and forces it against her breast. I continue tormenting her nipple as we repeatedly rub against one another, my jeans suddenly feeling far to restraining. I switch the focus of my mouth to her other nipple, her hands never abandoning their grip on my head. My insecurity that I have no idea what I’m doing dissipates with every gasp, catching of her breath, arching of her back, and undulation of her hips. I need to feel Olivia bare beneath me; it’s what this newly released animal inside me demands. I slowly slide my hands along her arms and circle her wrists, freeing the stranglehold she has taken in my hair. I gaze up the plane of her body as I trail kisses down her abdomen, pausing when I reach the button of her jeans. Her eyes finally flutter open when she realizes the sensations have stopped and I release her hands, bringing my fingers to the button that releases the last barrier between Olivia and the fulfillment of these urges blazing through me.

  “Liv,” I whisper when her eyes meet mine, my husky voice sounding foreign to me. The word containing a question, a plea, affirmation of my love for her, and my desire. She brings her fingertips to the side of my face and gives me a shy smile as my fingers work at the button and then the zipper. A quiet whimper escapes her as my lips trace a pattern over her exposed panties, the navy blue fabric matching her discarded bra. She squirms beneath my lips, causing the first hint of her arousal to reach my nose. I close my eyes and take a deep breath of the indescribable scent and feel the quiet moan escape me as I exhale. The driving force inside me instinctively knows that what it seeks is near, and it wants more, so much more. My fingers hook her jeans and panties as I back off the bed, hungrily staring down as inch by glorious inch of her fabulous legs are revealed. Olivia props herself up on her elbows as I absorb her bare form, completely speechless. Just the sight of her lying there amplifies my desire as I slowly allow my eyes to rove over her body again and again. I want to…I want to what? Panic hits me square in the gut. I have no idea what I’m doing. What if I hurt her, or can’t please her or worst of all, what if she doesn’t like it?

  “Jordan?” Olivia’s voice reaches through my panic induced fog, pulling my mind back to her. “We can stop if you want to,” she assures me as she sits up on the edge of the bed and reaches for me. “Are you okay?” she whispers as her forehead rests against my stomach and her hands grip my hips.

  “Yeah, I just panicked for a second,” I half explain, my heart still hammering away.

  “Why?” she questions as she moves one hand to my lower back and gently caresses me there.

  “I have no idea what I’m doing. What if I can’t…you don’t…” Olivia is the naked one in the room, but the thought of admitting this fear to her has me feeling exposed.

  “Orgasm?” she asks as she looks up at me. I nod and close my eyes, feeling Olivia’s warm lips against my belly. “I’m nervous about that too,” she mumbles against my flesh causing me to open my eyes and meet hers again. “We’ll figure it out,” she assures me with another kiss against my stomach. “You were doing very well. I’ve already been close,” she whispers as her tongue circles my navel. Her words reignite the life force of that unknown entity inside me, making me want to topple her naked form back onto the bed. “Do you want to stop?” she asks as she pries her lips from my flesh and looks up at me. I shake my head no and smile at her as her long fingers move to my front and pop the button securing my jeans. She stands as she lowers the zipper and presses her lips to mine, her tongue slipping past my lips as she pushes my jeans and underwear off of my hips and they pool around my ankles. I step out of them and pull off my socks as the kiss continues and my hands fall to Olivia’s bare ass. She turns us so that my back faces the bed and I hungrily pull her against me as I lower myself onto the bed again. Our lips remain coupled until I begin sliding back on the bed, when Olivia resists and looks down at me. Her lust dilated eyes scan the length of my body before she flashes me the grin I’ve come to love as she glides her form over mine and we reconnect. I softly moan when the weight of her heated flesh settles against mine, never imaging that being connected to someone on this level would ever feel so good. This kiss is easily the most urgent one we’ve shared, speaking volumes about our desire. Olivia pulls out of it and immediately begins blazing a trail down my neck to my breasts, where her tongue flicks over my hardened nipple before she greedily sucks it into her mouth. I gasp and push my hips upwards but meet none of the friction my aching sex desires. The new sensation of her teeth gently scraping against my erect flesh, followed by her tongue circling it, chased by her sucking it more urgently all have me bucking my hips a bit more forcefully, my gasp nearly obscuring the delicate pop of Olivia releasing my nipple.

  “Liv,” I rasp as my hips try but fail to find some relief for my throbbing clit.

  “You’re gorgeous,” she murmurs between kisses as she moves her attention from one breast to the other. Her tongue circles my nipple only this time when she pulls back she traps it between her teeth, gently pulling on it before releasing it to lash her tongue over it again.

  “Please Liv,” I whimper making another futile effort with my hips. I feel her smile against my breast before she closes her mouth over my nipple again. That delicious mouth that isn’t
anywhere near where my body needs it, sucks on my peaked flesh, causing me to hook my legs around her ass and attempt to flip her over. Somehow in the blur of the unsuccessful motion, I manage to establish the contact that my sex has been screaming for. I lock my legs and make the movement again, as Olivia’s fiery breath cascades over my breast. Realizing that this is also working for her, I arch my hips again and feel her press back against me as she releases a muffled grunt.

  “Jordan,” she pants as we grind against each other again. I try to sit up to kiss her, but it changes the angle too much, causing me to quickly fall back against the mattress. “Let go of me,” she rasps as our pleasure continues to build. I reluctantly obey and watch in total bewilderment as Olivia quickly stuffs a pillow under my lower back, effectively angling my hips upward. I still have no idea what she is doing until she lowers herself and spreads each of us apart as our centers meet. I gasp when her moist slit glides over mine, our engorged clits skimming over each other as our undulations immediately pick up speed.

  “Oh, god,” I moan as I watch Olivia work herself against me. She clasps my hand as I faintly feel the light sheen of sweat starting to cover my body. I press up into her as my hips take on some innate rhythm I never knew they were aware of, Olivia’s grunts and moans appearing to fuel them.

  “I’m so close,” she pants as she writhes against me and my body begins to quake.

  “Olivia!” I loudly exclaim as my body spasms and my hips take on a new pattern of spastic jolts as my orgasm rips through me. I’m aware of Olivia’s climax as her body begins to tense and still above mine. It’s a sight I long to see, but the world is still too faded from my climax for me to open my eyes.

  “Jesus Liv, where in the hell did you come up with that?” I ask when my breathing finally calms and I feel her weight shift again as she drapes her body over mine, her head resting on my shoulder.

  “I read about it in a few books,” she answers with a soft chuckle. “You didn’t like it? Because I don’t think any of those stories quite conveyed how amazing it is,” she tells me through another chuckle.

  “I really liked it,” I inform her as I wrap my arms around her. “I think you need to start sharing some of these books with me though.” Her head leaves my shoulder as she looms over me once more, wiggling her eyebrows before capturing my mouth in a delicate kiss. I feel the shifting of her weight to her knees as her hands slide up my torso and begin caressing my breasts anew. Her fingers continue their onslaught as the tip of her tongue traces along the hollow of my throat as I arch into her.

  “I love you, Jordan,” I hear her declare over the moan her fingers elicit from me.

  “I love you too,” I rasp as Olivia slowly works her way down my body.

  Chapter 10

  November 2000

  I step through the door of our cozy apartment and immediately pause with the bag of takeout clutched in my hand. The lights are dimmed, and the tantalizing aroma of something Italian drifts to me from the kitchen. The table is set for a romantic dinner as Olivia toils away on the other side of the small bar that separates the kitchen from the living room. Immediately my hackles rise. Something is going on because Olivia rarely cooks for us since she cooks all day at school.

  “Hey babe,” she greets me as she flashes me that alluring grin and wipes her hands off on a towel. She rounds the counter, chuckles at the bag containing our takeout dinner, and kisses me firmly on the lips.

  “What’s going on?” I ask as I glance at the table and then reconnect with those soft blue eyes.

  “Are you not pleased?” she asks, answering my question with a question. Now I know she is deflecting from whatever the real purpose of this dinner is.

  “I am, I just know something must be up,” I try to calmly explain as panic slowly works its way through my body.

  “I need to discuss something with you,” she says as she takes my hand, the one not still holding the takeout bag.

  “Something bad?” I ask, still firmly rooted just inside the door. She tilts her head slightly and smiles before trying to take the bag from my hand.

  “Not bad,” she says as she wrests the bag from my knuckle-whitening grip. “Will this keep until tomorrow?” Zeke, our little tuxedo furred kitten, appears from out of nowhere and starts winding around my slacks.

  “Yeah,” I answer as I bend down to pick up Zeke before he takes it upon himself to scale me like I’m a tree. He immediately starts purring away as he rubs his face against my chin. Olivia smiles at us as she reaches up and scratches at his ear, her eyes never meeting mine.

  “Hungry?” she asks a minute later as I deposit Zeke back on the floor and finally remove my coat. It’s getting cold here in Chicago. I’m not sure why we didn’t go someplace warmer for school. Wait, yes I am. Chicago was the one place where we could both get what we needed in an education program and still be close to each other. Once I revealed to Olivia that I had been accepted to Northwestern, she quickly made her choice of attending the Kendall College School of Culinary Arts. She’ll be done with her program in a few months, while I still have a two more years to get through the master’s program in creative writing.

  “Liv, I don’t think I can eat until you tell me what’s going on,” I answer, my stomach grumbling to voice its disagreement. Olivia pulls me into her arms and hugs me tightly as more unease works its way through my system.

  “I love you, Jordan. I promise you it isn’t anything bad. Please don’t worry,” she whispers as she softly rubs my back. I sigh and relax into her embrace as she presses a kiss to my cheek.

  “Okay. What’s for dinner?” I ask as my eyes fall shut and I take a deep breath, Olivia’s comforting scent filling my nostrils. I’ve never doubted Olivia’s love for me, nor has she ever lied to me. If she says it isn’t bad news, then I need to trust her.

  “Just a simple lasagna and some garlic bread. We’ll have leftovers for a day or two.” I laugh, forcing Olivia to back out of our embrace to give me a curious look.

  “Simple lasagna? You haven’t made anything simple in your life,” I half tease her as I pull her back into my arms.

  “Simple to me, less so to you,” she whispers. “I’ve got to check the bread. Don’t want it to burn,” she murmurs before planting another firm kiss against my lips then releasing me. I follow her to the kitchen and offer my help, but am quickly told to sit and relax. Not surprising.

  *****

  “So what did you want to talk to me about?” I ask Olivia as we indulge in a rare weeknight beer after dinner. Whatever it is she needs to tell me can’t be 100% good news if she has danced around it for this long. I’ve given her time to get to it on her own. Now my patience is wearing thin.

  “I was offered an incredible opportunity to continue training under one of the top chefs in the world,” she says with a beaming smile.

  “Liv that’s great news! I’m so proud of you,” I exclaim before pressing my lips to hers. “When do you start?” I’m genuinely so happy for her that my mind doesn’t even register that there has to be a piece of information missing.

  “I would start after graduation…in Paris.” I immediately feel my stomach fall to my feet as this key piece of information sinks in. France? Fucking France? I tip back the last half of my beer in one long drink before getting up and retreating to the kitchen. I pull open the freezer and grab our bottle of vodka, knocking back a generous shot straight from the source. Olivia walks in as I toss the shot down my throat and takes the bottle from me. “Jordan,” she whispers as she draws me into her arms. “Please come back to the living room with me,” she requests before slowly backing her way out of the kitchen. She never so much as relaxes her hold on me as she blindly navigates us back to the couch, somehow managing the entire trip in reverse. “Come here,” she urges me, slowly lowering us onto the soft cushions. I’m not sure if I actively complied, or if she somehow managed it on her own, but I find myself laying between Olivia’s legs as she leans back against the arm of the sofa, my fa
ce resting on her chest as the tears slowly slip down my cheeks. Numb. It’s the only way to describe how I feel as I try to process the fact that Olivia wants to leave me to study in Paris.

  “I don’t have to go,” she whispers after some time as her hand slowly rubs a circuit along my back. I know if I were to gaze into her beautiful blue eyes right now they would be filled with disappointment. I can hear it in her offer to stay. I know from the excitement that radiated there when she told me she received the offer that she really wants this. How can I deny her this opportunity when it’s what she wants? Especially given she gave up a spot at a more prestigious culinary school so that we could be together in Chicago. Would she resent me years from now if I asked her not to go and she passed on the once in a lifetime opportunity? Even though the biggest part of me wants to be selfish, I know that I have to encourage her to seize the opportunity she’s been given.

  “You should do it,” I whisper against her shoulder as I try to keep more of the tears stinging my eyes from spilling out.

  “Really?” she excitedly asks as she leans back and presses her lips to my forehead. “Jordan, we’re going to make this work,” she promises me. How? I wonder. We’ve never lived a half mile apart. Now she’ll be relocating thousands of miles and countless time zones away. “We’ll email, talk on the phone, instant message, I’ll be home to visit. You can visit me. The two of us in Paris!” She’s so excited about this, and all I can think about is how she’ll be gone in just a few months.