Providence (The Velvet Series Book 2) Page 4

  “Sure. Have you had anything to eat?” Despite my breakfast, I feel my own hunger starting to settle in. Katrina must be famished at this point.

  “No, but I’m not really sure how much I can eat.” I’m relieved that she’s at least open to the idea.

  “If you’re comfortable going downstairs, we could head down to the cafeteria and get a little lunch?” Katrina shifts her focus from me back to Jill for a few minutes.

  “Yeah, we can do that.” She squeezes Jill’s hand before she releases it and heads toward the door. Our elevator arrives, thankfully empty.

  “Has Dr. Waters been in today?” I assume she hasn’t since I haven’t heard from her.

  “No. Is she really going to come back today?”

  “She said she would. Catherine is a woman of her word. I think this is all just a little too familiar for her.” Katrina furrows her brow as she looks at me. I remember then that she doesn’t know Catherine or Alex. “Sorry, long story short is that her partner was involved in an accident a few years ago. While they weren’t together at the time, Catherine was the on call neurosurgeon and had to operate. She refused to leave Alex’s bedside. I didn’t know Catherine that well when all of this happened, but it was easy to see that last night brought back a lot of bad memories for her.” I grab a tray as we enter the cafeteria. “Have you been here before?”

  “You said her partner. So she lived?”

  “She did.” I see many emotions cross Katrina’s face as she processes all of this. “I can’t imagine how she managed to operate on someone she cared about like that.”

  “Neither can I.” I give Katrina a few seconds, but she says nothing more. We take an exploratory lap around the cafe to see what each station is offering today. Not wanting anything too heavy, I order a turkey and cheddar wrap and an order of vegetables with hummus. Katrina orders a club sandwich and a cup of chicken gumbo soup. At least she is willing to try to eat. At the register, I block her from paying.

  “I’ve got this. I get a monthly food allowance.” Katrina tries to protest, but I swipe my employee badge before she can. Sale complete, I direct us towards the back corner of the dining area, relieved to find it empty. “Booth or table?”

  “Booth please.” I settle us into a nearby booth and Katrina slides in across from me. “Big plans for the day?” I’m relieved to see Katrina take a bite of her sandwich.

  “Not really. I tend to use Saturday as a catch-up day. So I work out like I always do then I grocery shop, clean, run errands, take care of laundry, finish up my charts from the week. If I’m lucky, I can have everything taken care of and just relax on Sunday. I know, I live a thrill packed life.”

  “So what do you do for fun? You have to do something to unwind.” I can’t help but chuckle. I’m certain that Katrina thinks that I work every day of the week.

  “Depends. On Thursday evenings I work with a private trainer. I typically have dinner with friends at least once a week. On Sundays we have brunch. In the winter I like to ski, in the warmer temperatures I like to go hiking. I go to the movies and read a lot too. I don’t work all the time, but I do run around enough that sometimes it’s nice to just stay home on a Sunday, you know, have a pajama day.”

  “Those are nice for sure.” The message alert on my phone interrupts anything else Katrina might have said. I look down to see a message from Catherine.

  “Catherine is here. She’s going to meet us in a minute,” I inform Katrina as I respond to Catherine’s message. Katrina stops the spoonful of soup that now loiters half way to her mouth. She thinks twice about it then continues to eat.

  “I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. Thanks for lunch.”

  “You’re welcome. Sorry, it isn’t anything special.”

  “It’s good actually. I’m surprised, given that it’s hospital food.”

  “Yeah, they revamped it all recently.” I hear a pair of familiar voices nearing us. Catherine and Alex are here, their arms wrapped around one another as they search the dining room for us. They walk right by us, so absorbed in whatever they are discussing that neither of them notice us sitting here.

  “I see what you were talking about last night.” Katrina doesn’t seem rattled or upset by their affectionate display so far, a small relief given I wasn’t sure how she would react.

  “They’ve been through a lot together.” I watch them for a second longer before finally deciding to pull them back into the real world. “Hey you two, over here.” They take a second to finish whatever discussion they’re having before Catherine quickly kisses Alex’s forehead and pulls away just enough to direct them towards our table.

  “Dr. Waters, thank you for stopping by.”

  “Please, call me Catherine. This is my partner Alex, Alex this is Katrina.” Alex shakes Katrina’s hand as they exchange hellos. I slide out of my side of the booth and reseat myself next to Katrina. Catherine and Alex take the unspoken cue and seat themselves opposite us.

  “Thank you for checking in.”

  “Has Dr. Hasting been through today?” Katrina nods her head as she finishes the last of her soup. “What did he have to say?”

  “Not much, just that there haven’t been any changes.” Catherine nods.

  “It’s early still. How about you, how are you holding up?” Katrina takes a deep breath to steady herself.

  “I’m trying. I’ll be ok for a while, then the smallest thing will trigger something and I’ll lose it. I don’t know.” Katrina looks down at the table; like she is ashamed of being emotional.

  “I understand, I remember it well.” Alex reaches up and squeezes Catherine’s hand that is resting on top of the table. Catherine allows her to relocate it back onto her lap. “You’re doing great, really. Remember, one breath at a time. It’s good that you ate something, you probably hadn’t realized how much energy you are expending.”

  “I hadn’t. Sara has been great, keeping me company, caffeinated, and fed.” Catherine’s eyes quickly glance at me before resettling on Katrina.

  “Any questions I can try to answer for you?” Catherine gives Katrina time to consider.

  “None that I can think of.”

  “Well, if you think of anything Sara knows how to reach me.” Katrina doesn’t notice it, but I can clearly see the amusement in Catherine’s eyes as she alludes to last night. “Do you need anything?”

  “I’m all set thank you. The offer alone means a lot.” We sit in silence for a minute or two, they feel like much longer.

  “You two have plans today?” Alex and Catherine both look at me, it’s Alex who finally answers.

  “We’re headed to Chicago for the night. Shopping and meeting up with some of Catherine’s friends for an evening out. First a late lunch though, we got a later start than we anticipated.” Both their cheeks flush, I didn’t need that clue to know why they got a late start. Anyone who knows them could guess why.

  “Well, safe travels and have a good time.”

  “I mean it, Katrina. If you have any questions please have Sara contact me. It won’t be an inconvenience.” Catherine reaches across the table with her free hand and gently squeezes Katrina’s forearm.

  “Thank you, really. Have a nice time in Chicago.”

  “Thank you. Should we go, baby?” Alex nods to Catherine, and they extract themselves from the booth. “Sara, call me if anything changes.”

  “I will, thanks Catherine. Alex, I’ll see you next week.” With that the pair make their exit, leaving Katrina and I alone once again. “Shall we head back upstairs?” Katrina doesn’t answer, so I slide out of the booth and take care of our tray and trash. She finally speaks once we are on the elevator back upstairs..

  “That’s never going to be Jill and I again, is it?” I don’t need clarification, I know what she’s asking.

  “You don’t know that, it’s early days still.”

  “I don’t know it, but I feel it all the same. I’m not even honoring her wishes. She never wanted to have machines keeping her
alive. I just can’t let her go though.” Just like that, the subtle nuances between Catherine and Alex have reopened Katrina’s floodgates. Tears slip out of her eyes and quickly make their way down her face. There’s nothing else I can do so I simply place a supportive hand on her shoulder and allow her to cry.

  When we’re back in the room, I find myself at a loss for what I should do. Katrina is still upset. I have no idea if she would like me to stay or if I should leave to give her some privacy. She takes her seat at the side of Jill’s bed and grasps her hand again. I find myself loitering near the entrance of the room, my feet seemingly glued to the floor, my mind wanting me to act, yet not being able to decide how.

  “Do you need to leave?” Katrina has noticed my lingering near the door despite never taking her eyes off of Jill.

  “I don’t have to leave. I honestly don’t know what I should do. Part of me feels like I should leave to give you some privacy. Another part says that I should stay to keep you company and offer support. What would be best for you?”

  “I know I’m not great company right now, but selfishly, I don’t want to be alone. If you have stuff you need to take care of I understand.” Without saying a word I make my way around the bed and take a seat in the chair across from Katrina’s. She stares at Jill, absorbed in her thoughts, so I sit silently, pulling out my phone to find a book to read.

  “Do you think I’m being selfish?” I’m halfway through the second chapter and already fully engrossed in the story when Katrina interrupts my focus.

  “I don’t think that’s for anyone else to say. Do I personally? No, but would it really matter if I did? Or if anyone else does for that matter? I think that this is a unique situation that very few people would ever be able to fully come close to understanding the emotions involved.”

  “What about with your mom?”

  “I was young so I’m not sure how much I trust those memories. I don’t think I comprehended that she was sick for the longest time. She still fed me and made sure I was ready for school, all the little things you take for granted. Towards the end though, when we knew she didn’t have long, I remember her suffering. She tried so hard to be strong, to not let me see it, but I remember. I asked my grandmother why we weren’t doing something to help my mother. I think she thought I meant something to help her get better since her answer was that there was nothing else to be done. I asked her why we couldn’t take her to the doctor like we took Sadie to the vet. Sadie was our dog. When she became old and ill we had to have her euthanized. I thought surely we did the same for people who were suffering. I guess my point is this, if she were suffering would this decision be easier for you?”

  “I wouldn’t let her suffer,” Katrina answers without hesitation.

  “Right, but she isn’t suffering, and the outcome is unknown at this point. Personally, I don’t see the harm in waiting for more information to become clear, but it isn’t my decision to make. I can’t imagine how heavy of a burden this must be.”

  “Thank you.” She flashes me a shadow of a smile before returning her attention to Jill. Sensing our conversation is at an end, I refocus on my book, diving back into the story. Sometime later I glance up to find that the emotional toll has finally proven to be too much, Katrina is asleep. I quietly get up from my chair and make my way to the nurse’s station where I ask for, and am given a couple of warm blankets. I return to the room and gently cover Katrina up, hoping that I don’t accidentally wake her. Mission accomplished, I settle back into my chair and resume reading my book.

  Chapter 3

  Sunday morning finds me back at the coffee shop and on my way back up to the ICU. Katrina’s message this morning put an early end to pajama day. This is the first time she has asked for anything, so even though I don’t know what it is, I am happy to help her if I can. I enter the room to find her pacing along the length of the bed, an episode of Law and Order airing quietly on the TV. She doesn’t notice my presence immediately, but stops when she finally does. I hand her one of the cups of coffee without saying a word.

  “Thanks,” she says as she takes the offered cup. She sits down in her customary seat but still seems antsy.

  “Are you alright? You seem agitated.” She continues to fidget, her knee bouncing and her fingers picking at the sleeve around the coffee cup.

  “Yeah, just starting to get cabin fever I think.”

  “Understandable. Did you sleep at all last night?” The dark circles around Katrina’s eyes tell me that even if she did, it wasn’t much.

  “A little off and on I think.” She shifts her focus to the TV. “I have no idea what’s even happening in this one, I just had it on for some background noise and momentary distraction.” She’s so fidgety that it’s starting to make me anxious.

  “Is there anything you need? Do you want to go for a walk, get outside of this space for a few minutes?” Maybe she will finally tell me what it was she messaged me about this morning. If not, I hope she will at least go for a walk and hopefully settle down a little. She turns away from the TV to look at Jill and then me.

  “Actually, I need to go home for a little bit.” Now I know why her anxiety is so high.

  “Would you like me to stay with Jill? Or I can take you to your house if you’d like.”

  “I hate to leave Jill here alone, but I have no idea what walking into our house is going to feel like. Plus, I need to let a few people know what’s happened. Most of all, I need a shower and fresh clothes. I feel disgusting.”

  “I can take you. If anything changes with Jill’s condition the staff will contact you and we can rush back.” Katrina stands up and grabs her coffee. “Now?” She moves towards the door, letting her actions serve as the answer to my question.

  Katrina tells me where she lives and gives me rough directions as we take the elevator down. “I have to say, this is not what I pictured you driving at all.” She laughs a little as she opens the passenger side door and climbs in.

  “What did you think I’d be driving?” I have an idea what her answer will be, but am curious nonetheless.

  “I don’t know, something sporty and expensive. An Audi, BMW, Mercedes, something along those lines.”

  “And what exactly is wrong with my Jetta?” I feign anger.

  “Nothing, it’s just—,” Katrina is stammering, clearly not picking up that I was messing with her.

  “Relax, I’m not upset. Just messing around a bit. I like my Jetta. It gets me where I need to go and doesn’t cost a small fortune every month. I tend to be practical when it comes to most things. I could easily afford any of the cars you thought I would drive, but they all do the same thing that my Jetta does.”

  “I suppose that makes sense. I’ve never understood having an overpriced car either. Guess I just had the rich doctor stereotype going on in my head. Sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. I can’t wait to see your reaction if you ever see my house.”

  “Why? Big and fancy?”

  “Hardly. Admittedly it’s probably bigger than I need, but it isn’t a mansion by any stretch of the imagination. Just a place that I really loved the exterior design of and the location. It sat vacant for quite a while and was very outdated. I picked it up for next to nothing and had it gutted and remodeled.”

  “So no pool, hot tub, movie theatre, tennis court and extra large garage filled with luxury cars?” She laughs to let me know she is joking.

  “Well, I do have a hot tub. Catherine has an indoor pool that I’ve grown quite jealous of, so I have someone working up a few ideas and getting me the estimates. Otherwise no, none of that other stuff. What would I do with it? Seems like such a waste of money. At least if I end up adding on to accommodate the pool it will add value to my investment. I’d rather save money for other things, like retiring before I’m 80. I’m one of the few surgeons I know that has already paid back their student loans. I lived in a cheap apartment for a few years after graduation just so I could take care of those. I’m not a fan of being
in debt.”

  “Wow, sounds very responsible. I wish Jill was more like you in that sense. She likes to spend money like crazy.”

  “That must drive you a bit insane, being an accountant and all.”

  “It does, but sometimes it’s impossible to say no to her.” Katrina’s expression relays her sadness letting me know that our casual conversation is at an end. She stares out the window looking at the landscape that she has to have seen countless times. She’s silent the remainder the trip and sits glued to her seat when I switch the car off. I use this time to take in the Cape Cod before me. The blue-grey siding set over stone veneer, the ample windows, the perfectly manicured lawn with it’s flowers and bushes along portions of the house, the attached garage. The house is beautiful and inviting, it feels like a home. The sound of the car door closing pulls me out of my assessment. I quickly scramble out of the car and meet Katrina as she unlocks the front door.