Providence (The Velvet Series Book 2) Read online

  “You’re moving to San Fran?”

  “Yeah. Taylor flew out to visit Catherine and help me move my stuff across the country. We’ve been doing this whole long-distance thing for too long. Time to figure out if it’s legit or not. I’ve got a job lined up, waiting for my arrival.” I stand there in a stunned silence, certain this day would never happen.

  “Well congrats you two, I hope it works out.” I truly do wish them the best. I look over again and find Katrina still chatting away with the unknown woman. Curious as to her identity, I excuse myself from Taylor and Nikki and make my way across the room.

  “Hey, I was wondering if you were ever going to come over here. Allow me to introduce you to—.”

  “Hello, Brenda.” I know my voice is flat, entirely void of any warmness. If I’d realized that Katrina has been speaking to Brenda this entire time, I never would have joined her. Now I find myself trapped in six degrees of lesbian hell.

  “Sara.” Brenda’s tone lets me know the feeling is mutual. Katrina quickly picks up on the fact that there’s something off.

  “Katrina, I just came over to see if you needed a refill.” I don’t have a clue what she’s drinking, but I have no desire to spend another second with Brenda. Katrina looks at her glass, still a third full, then up at me, trying to figure out what she’s missed.

  “Yeah but I’ll come with you. You know I’m particular about my cocktails.” She wraps her hand around the back of my arm and leads me towards the bar. “What was that?”

  “Nothing. She worked in the OR a few years ago, before she made some big career change. Let’s just say that things got out of hand at a party one time and that lead us to discover that we have nothing in common, nor do we even like each other.” Katrina starts laughing uncontrollably. “How do you know her?”

  “Our firm handles the books for her business. I don’t work with her directly, she’s my partner’s client, but we’ve had a few pleasant enough conversations over the years.”

  “Ah, it looked like you were old friends or something.”

  “Were you watching me?” I feel the blood leave my body and rush to my cheeks. I hadn’t felt like I had been watching her, but maybe I was. “Anyway, I learned something vitally important tonight.” The relief I feel that Katrina didn't force me to answer her previous question is quickly replaced by curiosity.

  “What would that be?”

  “That you have a nickname.” I feel myself cringe reflexively. I’ve heard it before. It was funny the first few times but has long lost its appeal. All I can do is shake my head. “What, you don’t like being known as the Breast Whisperer?” That was not what I was expecting. I can feel the confusion instantly register on my face. “Oh my god, there’s another nickname isn’t there!” Katrina is enjoying this, far too much. I drop my gaze to my feet, knowing she will pester me until I tell her.

  “There is. Honestly, I hadn’t heard about being called the Breast Whisperer. I think the other name is better though. If Alex dubbed the new one as well, then she’s losing her touch.”

  “Alex gave you your first nickname?” I nod to confirm that it’s true. “So are you going to tell me or should I go ask her.” Katrina tilts her head to the right, she’s already located Alex, ready to interrogate her if I don’t crack quickly enough.

  “The Wizard of Tatas,” I lean in and whisper as quietly as possible into Katrina’s ear. She completely loses it, stopping in her tracks to let her laughter take over. I try to close the remaining distance to the bar, wanting to put some space between me and my newest embarrassment. Katrina’s hand shoots out and grips my arm once again, forcing me to wait. When she finally composes herself, she forces me to face her.

  “Alex’s name is better, but I can tell that you don’t necessarily enjoy it. I’ll try not to bring it up again.” I nod my appreciation, wanting to drop this subject as soon as possible. “So how about that drink?”

  “Sounds good.” We refill our drinks at the bar and join the line of people preparing plates of food. We find ourselves seats outside, choosing to sit in the grass under a large oak tree. It places us at the edge of the party, giving us a distance from the noise and allowing us a prime vantage point to people watch from. I watch Katrina as she cuts her burger in half before trying her first bite as I cut into my bacon wrapped stuffed chicken. Catherine and Alex haven’t held back tonight. I catch Katrina eyeing me as the first bite practically melts in my mouth. “Trade you half a burger for half of that chicken.” I think she’s joking but quickly realize she isn’t. My face must betray my skepticism about her offer. “I’m not kidding. If that chicken put that expression on your face, then I have to try it.” I cut the chicken in half and offer it to her. Having initially debated between the two, I’m fine with having a little of both. She takes a small bite and closes her eyes as she chews.

  “Ok, I don’t think I enjoyed it quite that much.” She instinctively laughs and nearly chokes as she tries to swallow. “Sorry, you ok?” Despite her face being red, she nods and clears her throat.

  “Yeah, I’m good.” We sit and watch people interacting with one another, I’ve always found people watching to be fascinating.

  “They really are adorable together aren’t they?” I have a feeling I know who she’s referring to, so I look around and see Catherine and Alex feeding one another.

  “They are. I think it’s because—.” I cut myself off, not wanting to finish the thought, not wanting to remind Katrina of Jill by mentioning Alex’s accident. Katrina looks at me, waiting for me to finish, her eyebrows arched in a mix of anticipation and expectation.

  “Because of Alex’s accident?” I look down at the grass, upset with myself for bringing up something I know will likely remind her of all the pain surrounding Jill’s death. I feel the warmth of Katrina’s hand as she places it on my shoulder. “It’s alright.” I turn my head to look at her, to assess if she really is ok. “I can’t lie, it makes me sad to think about it, it probably always will. I’m ok though. I’m not going to breakdown or get super angry for no reason. I’m making peace with it I guess.” Katrina’s hand still rests on my shoulder. I reach up and place my hand over hers and give it a slight squeeze. I feel her squeeze my shoulder in return as I examine her face. She’s telling the truth, her expression reflects peacefulness marred by a tinge of sadness in her eyes and at the corners of her mouth. I feel relief and happiness for her, it’s been a difficult road, I’m glad she’s finally finding some sense of peace.

  We finish our meal and make our way back to the bar for another drink. Catherine joins us and looks at me, a satisfied look in place. “That’s at least your third drink, you’re staying.” How she manages to keep tabs on everyone is beyond me. I look at Katrina and shrug, receiving a shrug from her in return. We know we can’t argue. Catherine’s grin is triumphant, she knows she has won, and she loves it. “Good. I’ve allocated you the guest room at the far corner of the house. You know the one right?” I nod that I do. “Great. I know you don’t sleep soundly, so I figured being further from the party and everyone else would be best.” She smiles and saunters her way back outside. I turn, intending to show Katrina where our assigned room is, but find her immersed in a conversation with Abby. I head outside, stopping and having conversations when prompted. Eventually, I find myself standing near the fire pit, its warmth a bit much for the late evening hours. I stand and watch the flames, hypnotized by their movements, my mind clear of all thoughts. I hear footsteps approaching but don’t pull my gaze from the fire.

  “I thought you said she isn’t your girlfriend.” Taylor stops at my side, her gaze as fixed on the flames as mine.

  “She isn’t. Where is this coming from? You looking for permission or something?”

  “Nope. You shouldn’t get irritated when someone asks you about her, I mean one of you always seems to be watching the other, your little private dinner under the tree, I saw that moment the two of you shared. If you don’t want people to know that’s fine, yo
u should just be a little more discrete.” I finally tear my eyes from the entrancing flames.

  “There isn’t anything to know!” I have no idea if I hiss it or shout it. Taylor has often rubbed me the wrong way with her innuendos and insinuations. “That moment you think you saw? We were talking about her partner who passed away six months ago. There was no moment.” Taylor’s look shifts slightly, but doesn’t give anything away.

  “Interesting,” she mumbles as she walks away. I retrain my focus on the fire, trying to find the meditative state I had just a few minutes ago, but it’s gone. I can hear the party around me, people making their way closer to the fire.

  “There you are! I’ve been looking for you.” Katrina takes the spot formerly occupied by Taylor. It makes me wonder why people always take the space on your right, even if the space on the left is equally unoccupied. “Your drink is gone. Want a refill?” I can hear in her voice that she’s having a good time, one that I don’t want to spoil. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, just Taylor being Taylor. I’m fine. Still want to get that drink?” We head back to the house and are stopped by Kevin and Derrick asking if we want to play a game of cornhole. We agree to return after we refill our drinks.

  Several games of cornhole later, the attendance at the party has dwindled markedly. Catherine and Alex are snuggled together on one of the benches by the fire. Taylor and Nikki occupy the bench opposite Catherine and Alex. Abby and Blake, the guy from the brewery, are sitting under the oak tree where Katrina and I ate earlier. Derrick, Dahlia, Shannon, and Kevin are all playing a game of cornhole. I head towards the fire and sit on one of the vacant benches, not even attempting to insert myself into the existing conversation. I stare at the flames and realize how tired I am. I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s after one in the morning, long past my usual bedtime. I once again find myself staring at the flames as they move like they’re dancing to music only they can hear. It’s relaxing, so relaxing that I don’t even realize that Katrina has joined us, sitting down on my right and holding another whiskey sour for me.

  “So Sara, how is the search for the new partner going?” Catherine means well, I know, but this is the most frustrating thing in my life right now.

  “I feel like it’ll never be over. Who knew getting someone to move to the midwest was going to be so difficult? We have some new options, but it’s hard to meet to interview or discuss candidates because we’re only all available on the weekends. Someday though, it has to happen, right?” I can see the sympathy in Catherine’s eyes, she knows I’ve been working too much, that I’ve made the job my life, that I have one foot dangling over the edge of the abyss that is burnout. I know that I’m the only one to blame.

  “I didn’t know you were still looking.” Katrina gives me a look; like she feels hurt that I haven’t shared this information with her.

  “We are. There’s one candidate I’m hopeful would make a good fit. I’ve felt that way before though, so I’m trying not to get my hopes up.” Thankfully the conversation moves on to talk of Catherine and Alex’s upcoming vacation to Italy. I try to remain focused as I sip my drink but I know I need to head to bed. Katrina stifles a yawn, and I realize she’s right there with me. Tired of listening to the never-ending drone of conversations I’m not a part of, I stand up and excuse myself, telling everyone goodnight. Katrina rises and does the same causing Taylor to shoot me a look; like she just received confirmation that all her suspicions are true. I cast her a warning glare and shake my head slightly, watching as she receives the message.

  We walk back to the house, and as we pass through the kitchen, I stop and grab two glasses of water. While we’ve both done well pacing ourselves tonight, I know that a headache in the morning is an all too real possibility. We make our way through the house and open the door to the guest room. I’m relieved to discover that Catherine has set out two sets of gym shorts and t-shirts, knowing something comfortable to sleep in would be nice. I deposit the waters, grab a set of clothes and head back down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind me so Katrina can change. I drag my feet, trying to ensure she will be decent when I return. I slowly open the door and when I’m met with no protest, enter the room to find Katrina already curled up in bed. Her back is to me, so I have no idea if she’s still awake. I quietly make my way to the vacant half of the bed and try to climb in without disturbing her.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I opened the window a little. You can close it if you think it’ll be too cold or the light will bother you.” I have no objections, it’s still a nice night out, and the bedding will be more than enough to stay warm. I take a deep drink from my glass of water and switch off the lamp.

  “Goodnight.” I should fall asleep quickly, but naturally, I don’t. Instead, I find myself staring into the faintly moonlit room. I’m not sure what’s keeping me awake. Katrina’s breathing has been steady for a few minutes, yet does not work as a focal point for me to relax to. She suddenly rolls over, taking position on her other side, now facing me. I continue to struggle against my insomnia, staring into the dimness; like I will find the answer written on the ceiling if the moonlight hits it at the right angle.

  “Can’t sleep?” I jump a little at the sound of her voice. “Sorry. You alright?” I flip from my back to my side, facing Katrina in the darkness. The moonlight illuminates her eyes, intensifying the silver.

  “Yeah, I’ll sleep eventually I’m sure. What about you? I thought you were asleep already.”

  “Not yet. I’ve just been thinking.”

  “About?”

  “I don’t know, the future I guess. What mine looks like now. You ever do that?”

  “Sure. I’m guessing most people do. I keep picturing a vacation in mine, sadly it seems to move further away.”

  “You should just take one. You’re no good to those women if you are beyond exhausted.” She goes quiet, but I can still see her eyes, watching me. “Do you ever see yourself settling down?”

  “What do you mean? I’m not exactly a wild child over here.”

  “No, I mean, I don’t know. Just seeing all those couples tonight, Catherine and Alex, Derrick and Dahlia, Shannon and Kevin, Abby and Blake, even Taylor and Nikki…their relationships are all so different and yet they all seem so happy. Do you ever see that for yourself? I try, but I haven’t been able to imagine it.”

  “I think you’ll be able to see it someday; when you’re ready to. I’ve tried to see that, but I’m just never able to. I know I’m difficult to date, I have such limited time, I’m stubborn and probably at least a dozen other undatable things.”

  “Stop. You’ve only ever painted a general picture of how things were with your ex, but you’re not undatable. I think once you free yourself up from work a little, you’ll be able to focus on putting yourself out there a little more. Then it will happen.”

  “Are we making a bet? It’ll happen for you before it happens for me. I’m willing to make that bet.”

  “Sure, what should we wager?” I can see the moonlight bounce off of Katrina’s teeth as she smiles.

  “I don’t know, I’m sure we’ll think of something eventually.”

  “Yeah.” Katrina rolls onto her back and closes her eyes, so I ease myself back onto mine as well. “I think I just miss having sex.”

  “Yeah, I do too,” I whisper back, thankful that she can’t see the shock that’s registered on my features. Without warning, she starts laughing, a genuine, out of control, infectious burst. I can’t help but join her, a few minutes passing before our room becomes quiet once again. “Goodnight Katrina.”

  “Sweet dreams Sara.”

  Chapter 11

  “Are you going to dinner and Velvet Friday night for the moving away party?” Katrina and I circle each other, both breathing heavily. I wait for her to try to attack me but she has long since caught onto my strategy, often forcing me to be the aggressor.

  “Yeah, I should be done opera
ting in time for dinner, at least I hope I will. I didn’t know you were going.” I feint like I’m going to jab but drop to go for a leg sweep. She deftly evades the maneuver, forcing me to admit she has gotten much better in a short period of time. I bounce up quickly, anticipating a counter attack.

  “Alex invited me. Do you mind?” This time she tries to throw a jab at me, but I easily side step it, quickly wrapping one arm around her neck and the other under her extended right arm. Hands locked together, I twist my hips and flip her onto her back. As she tries to recover, I unlock my hands and quickly lock my legs around her arm. She instinctively tries to push my feet apart, but my ankles are locked. I know I have her now. I relax my arms just enough to lean back and capture her left arm, locking her into an arm bar. I lean back, but don’t fully engage the submission move, I don’t want to hurt Katrina, I just want to make her tap. “Is there a way out of this?”

  “Tap out. I don’t have it fully engaged, or you’d be in quite a bit of pain as your elbow would be hyperextended a little more every second. Eventually, it could dislocate.” I apply just a little more pressure, and Katrina quickly taps. We both get back to our feet, and I see Katrina flexing her elbow. “You ok?”